Not My Own Words – Two

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A while back I posted some Rules for Writing that appeared in a column in our local Sunday newspaper.  John Usalis, the staff writer has a knack for finding interesting tidbits of information that he likes to insert at the end of his weekly article.

This week he was at it again.  I had a few smiles as I read through his musings and thought I would share them with you this week.

Here they are:

  • Why can’t we throw ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and 3 sizes smaller?
  • I don’t trip over things. I do random gravity checks.
  • I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop upsetting me and getting on my nerves.
  • When I was a child I thought nap time was a punishment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation.
  • The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t have to write it down, I‘ll remember it.”
  • I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights”.  I’m just very wise.
  • My people skills are fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
  • Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it can muffle the sound.
  • Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
  • Oops! Did I just roll my eyes out loud?
  • At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

You may have noticed that most of these seem to have something to do with aging.  What can I say?  All you young uns out there—just wait.

You may have noticed that most of these seem to have something to do with aging.  What can I say?  All you young uns out there—just wait.

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Not My Own Words – Two

  1. Yes, yes. I have wisdom streaks as well.

    LOVE THESE! Thanks for sharing them, Bob.

  2. I have wisdom highlights in my hair, too. And it appears I’m getting wiser by the minute. 🙂

  3. My new bumper sticker:My people skills are fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
    Thanks!

  4. Ha, I’m proud of my very visible wisdom streak, young though I may be… This list made me chuckle. Thanks for that.

  5. These are so very true! Thanks for sharing – made me smile!

  6. Absolute truths! The sad thing is I understand (and live) each one. It must be the wisdom highlights in my hair. Totally using that one in the future. Thanks for the chuckle today, Bob.

  7. Judy C.

    LOL! A great list for all of us who have been around a while and for those who have this to look forward to.

  8. Got a real chuckle – sad tho – I agree with them and understand them! lol

  9. Oh my, a much needed moment of levity and your closing two cents was the icing on the giggle cake.

  10. “Oops! Did I just roll my eyes out loud?” is my favorite.

  11. I need one of those ‘small vacations’, but haven’t had one in a while. Thanks for the laughs!

  12. Jaana

    When it is really cold both outside and inside, I too could ask: “Why can’t we throw ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and 3 sizes smaller?” And feeling warm for all the way to the inside! Thanks for the smiles this evening.

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