Resolutions! Me make resolutions? You’ve got to be kidding. Resolutions are for those who are not happy with themselves and want to change some aspect about themselves that they don’t like. They are not perfect.
Me, on the other hand, I am perfect and there is nothing I want to change or need to change about myself. Therefore, there is no need for me to make resolutions.
However, that is no reason why I can’t make resolutions for others. That being said, here are my resolutions, in no particular order, for the people who live with me.
I resolve that you will feed me whenever I want to be fed and not according to some predesigned schedule of feeding you think is appropriate for me. After all, who here is the expert on when I am hungry?
I resolve that you will let me sleep whenever and wherever I choose. In addition, I resolve that you will not run the vacuum while I am trying to sleep. After all, to look this good I need my 20 hours of sleep.
I resolve that you will pet me only when I want to be petted and not when you feel like petting me. After all, I know I am cute and adorable but that doesn’t mean you have the right to touch it each time you walk by.
I resolve that you will wake up when I want you to get up and not when you feel like getting up. After all, if I let you sleep why it would be at least 8:00 A.M. until I was served breakfast.
I resolve that I will run around the house like crazy whenever I want. After all, I need my exercise to stay fit and trim.
I resolve that you will have boxes and baskets of toys for me to play with in every room of the house especially making sure that the nosiest ones are out at night. After all, I am entitled to have as many toys as possible.
I resolve that you will clean my litter box daily. After all, who wants to use a dirty one. Ugh!
I resolve that any food you eat is fair game for me as well. After all, someone needs to check that the food you eat is healthy.
I resolve that I will constantly be underfoot especially when you are busiest. After all, someone needs to make sure your senses stay sharp.
I resolve that you will keep the bird feeder filled so that I can watch bird TV whenever I want. After all, I am entitled to some entertainment.
I really don’t think there are too many resolutions here or that they can’t be met. I did lie, though. I did make just one resolution for myself.
I resolve that no rug or piece of furniture will be safe from my wrath if these resolutions are not kept.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
arjeha 
This is terrific…what a nice break from all the bad news in the world.
I especially like the ones that start “I resolve that you will…” You really capture the catitude.
Thank you. I needed to write something that got my mind off of the events of the past week. Could be my way of coping.
I think I love the phrase “bird tv” most of all—and there is a LOT TO LOVE here. I, too, am a cat person. We have a dog though, so no baskets of toys; the canine would make short work of that! (As it is, twist ties don’t even last—our cat loves those, as stimulus-deprived as he is.) Thanks for a fun post and dear to my heart!
Our one cat loves twist ties as well. He likes to chew the paper right off of them. As a result we try not to leave any around. All three of our cats like to sit on the windowsill and watch the birds, and the occasional squirrel, at the bird feeder.
A slice of life from an unexpected point of view is a fun surprise! This must have been fun to write–including catching just the right moments to snap the photos!
Once I had the resolutions it was all about getting Dustin to pose for the pictures to go with them. Not an easy thing to do.
I love it! And we should all learn to live like a cat. Thank you for this.
Yes, cats don’t seem to have self-esteem problems. Thanks for the inspiration for this piece.